. Out of bed at 7:46am with a headache.
. Tea, raw sugar, coconut milk.
. I smudge the tarot deck with red cedar and pull The Star card, reversed. It speaks to everything I’m feeling right now.
. “Your spiritual mission is distorted. Instead of hope, you are feeling despair or discouragement.”
. Yes, I’m having difficulty finding meaning in many aspects of my life. There is purpose to this phase and it will pass, but it’s uncomfortable and I don’t want to be here.
. I walk outside with the mug of tea. It’s cooler than I expected, but heat is on the way. Me and some dogs stretch our legs at the park. One brings me a stick. He’s so proud. His owner has an accent. German? She smells of sharp perfume. The path is made of wood chips and it’s a soft landing place for my feet. The walnut trees are shaking off their leaves like gold glitter. The air is infused with mulch and earth. I leave with a bug bite and wet toes.
. It feels good to sweat.
. Bike shopping feels like car shopping. I really enjoy the part where I ask for a step-through and they show me the high-bar (‘cause style) and then I get to say that I’m not trying to be picky, but I have hips made of gravel so I really need a step-through thank you very much.
. Mateus rosé, GirlsGirlsGirls, salted caramel gelato, rain drops.
. I am thankful for the last 26 hours.